The Real Reason You’re Not Chasing Your Dream — And How to Change That

Make it tangible

Last summer, I met a woman who told me that her dream was to quit her office job in the Midwest and move to the Deep South to become a ghost tour guide. I thought that sounded pretty cool. But when I asked her what was stopping her, she just gave me a blank stare and a shrug. Apparently, she didn’t even know what was holding her back. The obstacles were obviously there in her mind, but she couldn’t name them.

This encounter made me think about all the people I hear saying they want to write but never do. In fact, it made me think about anyone who has a dream but isn’t pursuing it. Chances are, they wouldn’t be able to tell me why either. There are obstacles in the way, but they’re often unnamed. So how do we identify these obstacles? And how do we overcome them if we don’t even know what they are?

One way to address these obstacles is to first make them tangible. A helpful method is to sit down and make a list. When you see those obstacles on paper, rather than letting them float around in your head, it becomes much easier to find solutions and overcome what’s standing in your way.

While I don’t know what it takes to become a ghost tour guide in the Deep South, I can offer some advice for would-be writers. Here’s a list of common obstacles and ways to overcome them:

Not knowing where to start.

If starting seems too daunting, break it down. Begin by making a simple list of things you might like to write about. What do you really want people to know? About you? About life? What is the story you want to tell? Or even, what do you want your legacy to be? Once you’ve made your list, take a few minutes to journal about each point.

Fear of being bad at it.

If you wait until you’re a perfect writer, you’ll never write. There’s no such thing as perfection in writing — only excellence, and the way to achieve excellence is through practice. As one novelist succinctly put it, “You have to write a lot of bad shit to get to the good stuff.” The way to counteract perfectionism is with courage. You have to be brave enough to look at your early drafts, knowing they won’t be perfect. Progress is more important than perfection. If you truly want to be a writer, you’ll stick with it and see improvements over time. You have to write your way to becoming the writer you want to be.

Lack of time.

Most of us lead busy lives. Between paying the bills, taking care of family, being part of a community, and managing the logistics of daily life, not having time to write is a common obstacle — it could warrant an article of its own. But ultimately, it comes down to how badly you want to write. You have to make time for it; there’s no way around this. The first step is to ask yourself what you’re willing to give up to create space for writing. A night out? A TV show? An extra hour in bed?

Lack of focus.

This obstacle requires looking at your lifestyle and schedule. When are you most at peace? When are you most lucid? Can you reserve these times for writing? Also, do you have a comfortable place to write? This might seem trivial, but it’s important. If you’re uncomfortable while writing, you’re less likely to do it. Can you invest in comfortable seating? If not, can you write at a café or a library? Or perhaps you can think outside the box. Can you dictate your writing while on a walk?

Some obstacles are easier to resolve than others. And you may have specific challenges unique to your circumstances. But the key is that the only way to get past these obstacles is to first name them and be clear about what they are. Sometimes, getting started on a dream is simply a matter of confronting the obstacles in your way. This applies to fulfilling any dream in life. So ask yourself: what’s standing in the way of achieving your dream?