The Plot Twist Every Memoir Writer Needs to Hear About Shame

Your readers are closer than you think

Shortly after the launch of my memoir, my publisher asked me to do some video promotions on social media, but each time I tried I froze and felt my stomach churn.

I’m not a particularly shy person, but when my memoir was first published, I couldn’t bring myself to promote it. I was too embarrassed and ashamed about my story that all I wanted to do was hide. I could barely talk about it. I couldn’t do podcasts. I didn’t want to do interviews.

The idea of sharing my story with the world felt like exposing an open wound. But my true fear was revealing the life that years of unhealed trauma had shaped. I was afraid of being judged for it.

Time and engagement with readers helped me gain a new perspective.

I soon realized that readers saw my story through the poetic, embodied narrative of my book and understood the deeper truths. Many of them even told me they could relate to my experience, which I never expected.

Slowly, the shame began to loosen its grip, and I realized that I didn't just want to talk about my story, I needed to.

Then in what felt like a full-circle moment, I received this message from a long-lost childhood friend who had randomly looked me up and found my book. Her words were a gift of validation I hadn’t even known I needed.

And here’s the plot twist: This friend appears in a scene in my book. I never named her, so I don’t know if she recognized herself in the story. Still, I’m so grateful that she reached out.

If you’re writing your story, remember that the readers who need your truth are closer than you think.