3 Invisible Obstacles Keeping You From Writing the Memoir You Dream About
These blocks are common, but not permanent
If you’ve been dreaming about writing a memoir for years but haven’t found the time, I’ll let you in on a little secret: It’s not about time.
There’s something deeper going on to unpack.
It’s Not About Time—It’s About Priority
When people say, “I just don’t have time to write,” what they’re really saying is: “It’s not a priority right now.”
If your water heater broke and your basement started flooding, would you say, “I just don’t have time to deal with this”? or would you drop everything to fix it?
But of course it’s not that simple, either. Because if it were just about prioritizing time, you’d have done it already. There are other, often invisible, forces holding you back.
So What’s Really Getting in the Way?
Based on what I’ve learned from guiding would-be authors through the early stages of their journey, the reasons most people don’t write the book they dream about fall into three core categories:
1. Lack of Confidence
I’ve had people tell me, “I’ve dreamed of writing a book for decades... but I don’t think I have what it takes.” Or, “Who am I to think anyone would read my story?”
But you don’t write a memoir because you’re famous or important. You write a memoir because you’ve lived through something. You’ve made sense of it. You’ve learned. You’ve transformed.
A memoir is not just about what happened to you—it’s about the meaning you’ve made from it, and how you’ve come to understand something universal through your particular experience.
You have a perspective no one else has. And when you share your truth, you give others permission to reckon with their own.
2. Lack of Structure
Another common barrier is the absence of a writing system or routine.
I see this pattern a lot: you start with excitement, dive into the first few chapters… then life happens. You lose steam, you drift, and you blame yourself.
After a few cycles of this, you start to believe you can’t follow through—and that shame becomes its own obstacle.
But writing a book doesn’t require superhuman willpower. It requires structure. It requires a container—a schedule, a workflow, even deadlines—that you can trust when your motivation inevitably wavers.
Writing becomes sustainable when it’s not just something you aspire to do, but something that has a place in your day-to-day life.
3. Lack of Community or Support
The truth is sitting alone in a room for hours isn’t exactly most people’s idea of fun.
Many aspiring writers feel restless, or even isolated, when they sit down to write. The blank page feels too big and too lonely.
But you don’t have to do it alone.
Yes, the act of transferring a story from your head to the page is ultimately yours. But there are countless ways to surround yourself with support:
· Online writing groups
· Accountability partners
· Workshops and retreats
· Coaches and mentors
Writing in community doesn’t dilute your voice—it strengthens your resolve.
The Way Through
If you truly want to write a memoir, and you’re not doing it, ask yourself:
· Where am I doubting my voice or my right to tell my story?
· Where am I lacking structure or systems to help me show up?
· Where could I seek out community or support, instead of going it alone?
When you give yourself permission to take up space as a writer, when you build consistent practices that support your process, and when you find people who believe in your voice, you will not only start—you’ll keep going.
And one day, you’ll actually finish.
Feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure?
Most aspiring memoirists I speak with feel blocked because they’re daunted by structure, or they struggle to stick with the process. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone—and you don't have to figure it out by yourself.
I have a limited number of one-on-one memoir coaching spots open this season. Together, we’ll build a clear, customized plan to get you unstuck.
Ready to stop waiting and start writing?
👉 Click here to book your free consultation.